You have become the bully you so valiantly admonish!

Living in America, we are afforded certain inalienable rights. Freedom of speech is one of them. But in that freedom comes responsibility. Responsibility not to spew forth, hate, vitriol, falsehoods, or “Alternative Facts” as Facts. What I’m getting at is…what do you do to a child who outright lies to you, over and over again? Do you not correct their wrongdoings with some sort of consequence? Is there not a punishment for lying to a parent, guardian, or any other human being? If in fact the lie was outright egregious, then it should be handled as a lie, if however it was just misinformation or poor knowledge, it should also be handled accordingly as to rectify the wrongdoings.

Or am I wrong? Would you just continue to let your child lie to you and countless others, because it’s “Their Truth” ?

I doubt any good parent would knowingly allow their child to lie, without reprimanding them and teaching them the lessons of right and wrong. I’m reminded of the little story “The boy who cried wolf.” keep lying and no one will believe you when you’re really telling the truth. Eventually it happens, and when it does, I’m sure the circumstances are not idyllic.

I’ve seen much in the ways of propaganda, lies, and just outlandish juvenile behavior from people who I both admire, and associate with as friends, acquaintances, etc. I understand the right to have opposing opinions on various subjects, and I get a good meme from time to time is a quick way to show how you’re really feeling at the moment about a particular situation at hand, but come on people show a little decorum. Show a little respect. For yourselves.

When you are bashing the Woman’s March on DC, and posting a meme that says, “Get back in the kitchen where you belong, and make me a sandwich.”  “Trump got more than a million woman out exercising in one day than, Michelle Obama did in eight years” You are what’s wrong with this world. You are portraying nothing less than childish behavior at the expense at another human being. You are showing your children how to behave and act in this world, you are grooming our boys into men, and showing our girls where their place is in this world as well. Ultimatley you’re doing nothing to promote your cause.

You have become the Bully you so valiantly admonish! 

Think about that for a moment, and let it sink in.

By showing, or saying certain things, attacking groups of people, you are no better than the gum on the bottom of my shoe. And trust me I’m being kind by suggesting that.

You don’t need to be a feminist, to have compassion, dignity, and acceptance of others/things that are different from you. You have to be a human. Plain and simple it doesn’t get easier than that.

I have witnessed on my Facebook feed countless meme’s of hate and anger towards feminists, women in general, LGBTQ, African-Americans, etc and each and almost every one of those people who are posting, always have a savvy meme or copy and paste diatribe of words that they have scooped up from someone who is on a warpath. Hardly any of them have put into their own words what they really feel. Again I get the quick wit of just copying and sharing something that aligns with your thoughts and feelings, I’ve done it myself on occasion.

The most recent one I’ve seen circulating Facebook is one of  a particular status that expresses the reason why women did not support the marches.

First let me say, you don’t have to support the march, you should respect those that feel the need to march, however. You must realize that not everyone has the same advantages as you or I for that matter. We are afforded the right to peaceful protest under the US Constitution, we should take advantage of it. I’m not saying violence is acceptable, there is a distinct line between violent protests, and those that are peaceful. I support peaceful protests, even if I don’t participate with them, or feel they align with my values. Everyone is entitled to opinions, as you are entitled to not agree with the protests that have taken place, but to bash another person for feeling the need to stand up for what they believe is, is like telling you not to hold your beliefs true. Isn’t it?

I’m not sitting behind this monitor telling you your ideals are wrong. I don’t agree with you, but I’m not telling you you’re wrong, unless your promoting a lie.

Most of the women who are protesting are doing so because they have at one time or another felt disrespected, held down, belittled, abused, treated as second class citizens, etc. They feel at this point this is how to get their voices heard. And although we were heard in the election, our countries election process does not believe in popular vote. If you still believe that Hillary only won the popular vote because of illegal immigrant votes, I have a bridge to sell you.

You don’t have to agree with those that chose to march, you do however need to stop living a life of “I” and instead of stating…

I’m not disrespected

I’ve never felt that way before

I’ve never been abused

I don’t believe in their cause…

How about remove yourself from the equation, and think about THEM. Why are they doing what they are doing. I’m thrilled that You haven’t endured the atrocities that many of these women have faced, and are trying to prevent. I’m saddened by their experiences and the fact that this election has elicited such emotion from them that they are scared. Scared of what could happen, scared of what is happening slowly to our future. I’ve had my own share of problems in life, some that no one will ever know of, but when I hear and see things that so many people are saying it shakes me to my soul, because I know of what possiblilites stand on the other side of that door.

I don’t mind a world with varying opinions, I actually encourage thought-provoking, intelligent ones, but what I do mind is hate! Hate from people I call, friends, acquaintances, colleagues, family… it’s sickening, sad, and angers me.

Instead of bashing one another, or dismissing someones cause, how about you ask them why they are doing what they are doing. Ask them if you can help, even if in another way. You don’t need to stand with them in solidarity marching through the streets, but you should however offer a shoulder or a listening ear for their cause. If at the end of the conversation, you still can’t accept their ideas, wish them well… and walk away.

img_6646

Walking away isn’t bad, actually it’s quite acceptable, but be respectful. I understand that there is hate and negativity on both sides.  I remember the days of seeing memes referencing monkeys, and posts of violence against, President Obama, but of course many people tend to forget what has happened in the past. People who felt those posts were horrible are constantly told to “Buckle up butter cup. Stop being a snowflake. Go away and color. Find a safe place”  Those same people who were telling you were to go back then are at it now, but with a sense of power and authority behind them because “our guy won and your bitch lost” But remember this one thing, the past predicts the future, and our past is dark, we must do all we can to change the future, and the only way to change that is to change ourselves. Keep standing up for the truth.

If we constantly bash one another, even in a joking manner, it is still negative energy being let out into this glorious world we inhabit. Let us be better than our past, better than our worse selves, and better than someone who can not see past themselves.

A little tug at the heartstrings

I’ve been MIA from the blog for a few weeks. Not because I want to but because life is just all over the place in good ways. David and I were away a few times, once with the boys and once alone. So my time to blog has been a little constrained for good reason. But I needed to share a little something near and dear to my heart.

logo_of_the_united_states_marine_corpsMost people close to me know that, David is a former Marine…let me add Once a Marine, Always a Marine, and he’s my Marine.

A few weeks ago he had an appointment and we ran into each other at the food store before he went to it, and would later meet up at home. While I was there, buying manzanella olives, and some pickles, I saw this older gentleman who seemed to have a little trouble reaching the canned vegetables. Now I’m a shorty, but I did offer my assistance to see if I could help him get what he needed. He was so thankful, and told me he was looking for the canned corn but couldn’t find it. It so happened to be on a lower shelf and I picked it up for him and he thanked me so much. I told him to have a good day and enjoy his dinner.

I finished up my shopping and checked out. When I got home, I made a little something to eat and cleaned up a little bit. David arrived soon after, and he had this look on his face. Something was off, but it wasn’t bad, it was just that he had a little sadness in his eyes.

What’s the matter? I asked

He then tells me before his appointment he went to the pizza shop to get a slice of pizza, and about 10 min later an older gentleman walked into the shop.

As David relayed the encounter he spoke as if he was the gentleman.

He walks in and asks the waitress “Am I allowed to eat there?” When she said yes, he then asks “Can I have chicken Parmigiano and do you have hot Italian bread?”. She said yes to both and she seemed a little shocked. He then asks “Can I sit here and eat it at a table? She tells him to go and pick any one he’d like and his food will be right out.

“I noticed right away he was wearing a hat, he was a WWII Vet. A Marine. I tried to get the waitresses attention, but she kept ignoring me. Finally I walked up to her and told her to add his meal to mine. And if he asked, Thank him for his service, from one Marine to another Marine”

 

David brought me to tears, and I’m sure he’s not to happy I’m writing about this, it’s personal, it’s at a level I didn’t understand, Marine to Marine, that is. But I do understand.

“He looked so alone, and as he asked if he could eat there, it just hit me.”

I asked if the gentleman was wearing grey sweatpants, and he said yes. I then told him my little story, it was the same man in the food store I had helped with his canned corn. We took a moment just thinking about it. I told him in his own way he made that mans night and I’m sure that he’d be grateful for the gesture.

 

Fast forward to yesterday, I’ve been having a few rough days, dealing with some stressful situations and finally got myself back to my chiropractor for a long overdue visit. It put me in a better mood, physically and emotionally. I had tried to meet up with my girlfriend for breakfast afterwards but being a new mom her little man was calling the shots. So instead I went to breakfast solo, and a little diner I haven’t been to in years. After my chiropractic session, I couldn’t imagine sitting at the counter on a stool with no back, so I asked the waitress if she minded if I sat at her 4 top table since there were 2 others available. She didn’t mind and I took the one closest to the door. image

I ordered my food, and table by table the place filled up. As I was finishing up my coffee and eggs, an older gentleman walked in, and he had a cane. I could see there were no tables left for him to sit at and so I took another sip of coffee and tried to get his attention. The waitress saw this and motioned to him, he turned around and I told him that if he would like he could have my table as I was finished with my breakfast.

“Thank you so much, it’s hard for me to sit on the stools with no back to them. These old bones don’t move that easily anymore. But I don’t want you to move or stop eating on account of me” he said

“Not a problem, I understand. And it’s not a bother, I’m finished and even if I wasn’t I’d just offer for you to sit with me at this big table. I always welcome company.”

He thanked me again and I moved my plate and cup to the counter. The waitress mouthed “Thank you” to me and I nodded. As I waited for her to take his order, it hit me.

Why not.

I caught her attention as she started to walk back around the counter, and whispered, “Add his bill to mine” She smiled and walked away to put his order in. When she got back around the other side of the counter she asked me are you sure. I said yes, add his to mine. When I paid her I told her if he asked to tell him, I wanted to brighten his day with a smile.

As I turned around to leave I saw him sitting in my chair and noticed his hat. A WWII Vet. A Marine. I touched his arm, fighting back tears, and said

“Thank you for your service, have a wonderful day, and enjoy your breakfast”

“Thank you, and thank you for the table. Have a good day” he said

I walked out the door, with tears welling up. I don’t really know why, except that I did. I’m an emotional person, always have been. Heck as I’m typing this whole thing I’m fighting back tears.

I don’t write this post to brag about, David (he’s probably not going to like this at first because he doesn’t like to talk about himself or what he does) or myself for that matter. I write it because what a small gesture as these may be, can possibly make someones day a little brighter, a little less lonely. It is ironic that both men, completely different, yet so similar.

image

What I do hope you take from this post is the next time you see someone, pay it forward, just for the heck of it. Buy a coffee, buy a donut, buy a meal. I did it because he was an older gentleman and he kinda tugged at my heartstrings, I had no idea he was a Veteran.

Dear, Elle Magazine. Celiac is a Disease, not a Joke. #Iamthatfriend

So this morning, as I’m scrolling through my Facebook feed, I happened upon a post from one of my favorite Celiac Bloggers~ Gluten Dude. He was up in arms again, and rightfully so, over a cartoon published by Elle Magazine. You can read his heartfelt reaction in the link above. This cartoon, got my blood boiling. Seriously, Elle do you really find it funny to tease about a Disease?

I rarely get so frustrated, because let’s face it, people are assholes. There are plenty out there that think an autoimmune disease is just something that’s in your head. Well, get your head out of your ass and wake up. It’s not a joke. It’s real. And there is no cure. Except, eating strictly Gluten Free. There is no pill, no cream, nothing but elimination of Gluten. Plain and simple. Got it? Good.
image

Here’s the thing, Elle and your well-informed staff. May is Celiac Awareness Month. Bet you didn’t know that, because that would have taken some time to research.

Research, you know what that is, don’t you? It’s all shits and giggles over there in your creative department while you’re eating your bagels and drinking your beer, joking about a group of people who have a disease. Well doesn’t that make you special.

Poking fun of people who have no control over something that is debilitating in their lives. Making fun of people who can’t just take a pill to make the pain go away. Pain that not everyone can see and pain that none of us would wish upon another, except maybe some explosive diarrhea just so you have a hint of what happens to them during a glutening episode. An episode that can have lingering effects for weeks, and if untreated, can lead to devastating diagnosis that could include Cancer.

You wouldn’t make fun of someone with Cancer, now would you, Elle? No foreshame. It’s a disease. A disease people have no control over, and although there may be medications to help destroy the cause of it, it still leaves people helpless at its grimy hands.

See, there is no fun in making fun and teasing people who have a disease. Would you place a person in a wheelchair in that bubble? An MS sufferer in that bubble? Cancer patient? You get my point, don’t you?

You disgust me!

Anyone who makes fun of a disease, disgusts me. How can you be so cruel. Yeah I’m just a little pissed off at your attempt, sad sorry ass attempt at humor. Now if I wanted to make fun of myself in a lighthearted way, so be it, because there is a distinct line in humor and humiliation, degradation, callous, rude, crude…you get the point, YET!

But your commentary about this disease is just one of many in the public eye by people who are in a position of preaching to a far-reaching audience of impressionable people.

Your attempt at making fun of a disease is deplorable. And as I’m sure the sun will set tonight, I’m sure you probably won’t ever see this post, or the comment I made on your Facebook post about this either. But that’s ok. If I can at least get one more person to see, that this is NOT A JOKE, it’s a Disease. Then that is more than enough for me. You are not alone in this, and as much as I dislike giving you and your business attention, I think that my small blast at your poor attempt at humor will balance out in the end.

Karma if you will. Or maybe you and your staff will research Celiac Disease, and maybe do some volunteer work, or at least take the disease seriously.

#Iamthatfriend

img_2873

 

 

Wisdom Wednesday 

Wisdom Wednesday

Wisdom Wednesday

#AtoZChallenge/Wisdom Wednesday Q is for Quality Quiet time

Sometimes in our day to day life where we are surrounded by multiple people constantly wanting or needing something from us, all we really want is some Quality Quiet time for ourselves.

Those moments of silence, uninterrupted where we can just go into our own headspace to clear the days hectic thoughts. It’s not a moment of ignoring people, or being mad at them and not wanting to be around them, but it is merely needing a moment of solitude to simply just be left alone quietly. Spending some quality quiet time by ourselves is almost comparable to getting a massage, or enjoying a cup of coffee on the front porch, taking a walk among the trees, going to the gym perhaps, or simply just closing the bathroom door to pee in private.

It may not seem like quality to you in the moment but after it passes and you’ve moved on to the hustle and bustle of life as we know it, those few moments of quietness turn into quality. They enhance our quality of life simply because we are able to detach from what is demanded of us and focus our energy back to taking care of ourselves even if for mere moments.Quality Quiet Time