“He won’t read directions”
“We can’t do any home project together without wanting to rip each others hair out”
“He’s a control freak and wont let me help”
“She gets all the tools, and hardware mixed up.”
“She doesn’t know what a flat head is compared to a phillips head”
Does any of this sound vaguely familiar to you? If so you might be suffering from ~ Incompatible Home Improvement Syndrome.
It affects 1 in 3 couples, and has been known to tear apart relationships before they can even have a chance to get off the ground running.
“Hey hun, I found a great painting that would look fantastic in the hallway. Let’s put it up?” Does hearing that question send shivers down your spine?
If so, let me assure you, your compatible mate to home improvement projects is out there and waiting for you to find them. Quite possibly in your nearest home improvement store.
All joking aside, if you think about how many times you and your partner have worked together building something, working on a home improvement project, cooking, etc. it probably hasn’t been without some flaws, and sometimes you realize that it’s just better to not do something together. It’s not a bad thing to do your own thing. You may not be interested in laying tile, he may not want to crack a few eggs for brownies, you may not want to get down and dirty with grout, and he may look at you with three heads when you say you want to make a souffle with him. Or vice a versa if he enjoys doing the cooking and you’d rather paint the back deck. Whatever it is you like to do, it’s often fun to at least try to do it with your partner.
Sometimes it doesn’t always work out for the best. You can get on each others nerves for the littlest thing.
That has been my luck in some of my relationships. Often times, because I am a little extra independent and will do the home improvement project as well as the souffle, we can end up butting heads. Everyone has a better way of doing something that they think is the best way to do it because they’ve done it millions of times before and sometimes (yes I’m singling out men here from my perspective) men don’t like it if women know how to do something that they believe they should be doing. Especially if the woman does it faster and presumably better than them.
I’ve been really lucky in the sense that David and I work really well together, either in the kitchen or in the project fix it area. We have our moments where I’d like a little extra space while mixing up something in the kitchen, or he would like me to hand him the allen wrench a little faster. Like before he asks for it he expects I’d already know he needs it and have it waiting for him lol. I also have moments where I think he should know when to hand me an egg for mixing up a cake, but we don’t always get what we want.
Last week, we had a lot cut out for us. We decided to tackle the project of the 6 ft cat tree for Lilo and Stitch to play and lounge on.
We almost bought one in Petco, but found this huge one online at Chewy.com at a really great price and it was larger than the one in the store.
What did we get ourselves into, we thought. Actually it wasn’t that bad. 25 some odd parts, screws, hoozywatsis, and about an hour later, we came out with a stronger sense of self. Or each other if you will.
It didn’t happen without a few little hiccups, let’s be frank, because at one point we thought we had an extra screw. It turned out to be the anchor for the wall if we chose to use it. We worked well together, until part 10 had to go into slot b, then it was all a mess…for a moment.
He expected that I knew he needed the allen wrench at that exact moment.
“Hello where’s the wrench?”
“Why, we don’t need it yet, I’ll get it when we get to screw 19.”
Expectation is the root of all evil… or a grumpy moment for some people. I turned around and pointed to the wrench…
“If you want it so bad, reach over and grab it!”
He perked up pretty quick, and made a joke out of it as usual with a grab of my bum and we were off to finish up our project. But then Stitch decided she was making home of one of the cubbies, before we could get to it. Finally after some coaxing with the treats, she came out and let us finish up.
All in all we worked very well together, and that in and of itself is a huge accomplishment in many relationships. The ability to work together on a project when both partners are strong, independent people that know what they’re doing. Hell we even read directions together. It was fun, and we made it fun. We didn’t make it a chore. Heck we painted the laundry/walk in closet room together a few months ago and even worked on taking apart the washer and dryer to spruce it up and replace one of the belts in the dryer.
So I think it’s safe to say it was a success, for us and the kitties. They seem to have settled into their new treehouse quite nicely if I do say so myself. Although Stitch seems to like that top perch wayyyy too much lol.