Do you have a friend who seems distant, not themselves?
Do you feel neglected, like you don’t know them anymore?
Well, there’s something I wish people understood. Maybe that friend who seems to have fallen off the face of the earth isn’t ignoring you, purposely. Maybe they are trying to deal with their own shit, and by becoming quiet, reclusive, distant, etc. is their way of dealing.
Even if it seems not to be their “normal” reaction, maybe their new normal is qute taxing. It seems easy enough to reach out and ask, “How have you been, I haven’t heard from you in a while, is everythig ok?”
Instead of reacting “Oh *insert name here* doesn’t want to be bothered with me anymore because life must be grand!”
Don’t make it about you, until you ask and find out.
Sometimes people retreat because they really don’t know what to do, and they’re just going through the motions of life as best they can.
Moral of the story…ask, don’t assume, you might be surprised, and you just might be offering a saving hand.
I woke up this morning and realized, I am that friend.
Through no intentional fault of my own, I have become that person.
Life gets in the way. Life is not always rainbows and unicorns, I say this constantly. Life is an ever evolving work in progress, and sometimes, our progress stalls, crashes down around us, and… we retreat.
Why do we do this?
I’ve no clue.
But it happens. Then one day you finally realize it, and you find yourself saying WTF! How did I let this happen? What was the turning point?
And then you see it, maybe there was no one specific thing, it was all the little things in life taking space, taking precedence. Life as you knew it had changed, and a new world order took over. Head first into the abyss, and you either sink, or swim, or hold on to the edge of the pool…and hope your bathing suit doesn’t fall off.
This is not a WOE is me tale, this is a WHOA is me tale.
Big difference. It has a mixture of woe’s and whoa’s. But what a more compassionate world this would be if more people took the time to ask “How are you doing?” instead of being on the defensive. I know this isn’t always the case, and some people are downright rude and obnoxious, only thinking about themselves, and truly couldn’t give a rats ass about you and your problems, so they ignore you. Yet a lot of people walk this earth daily, putting on a brave face so no one is the wiser to their turmoil. It takes a lot of work to put on that brave face, and sometimes that brave face takes all the effort some people can muster.
But remember, not everyone is the same. Not everyone deals with trials like you do. So ask, ask the next time you feel slighted.
What do you have to lose? The friendship that is no longer serving your well being? So be it if that is the case, because then You will benefit in the end by freeing yourself of a toxic relationship. Isn’t that refreshing? Isn’t that glorious, to free yourself of what weighs you down?
BUT if by you reaching out for a few moments of a conversation to a friend who seems distant, helps them from teetering on the edge of the abyss, then aren’t both of you better off in the end?
I think the answer is quite simple, don’t you?