Pride, it’s a double edged sword in my opinion some times. I have pride, I don’t like asking for help. In a society where people view asking for help as a plague on the economy, I don’t view it that way for the most part. But when it comes to myself, I don’t want to be a drain, I don’t want to ask for help. Even when I truly can use it. I let my pride, my independence get the best of me at the worst of times.
It’s detrimental to my own well being and I know that. Pride, can be an ugly thing, when we feel we don’t deserve the basic of needs. I know people who won’t ask for help if they need it, and I know people who are those plagues on society who expect things handed to them for free. People on both sides of the fence exist in this life. I strive to be neither of them.
I don’t want to be looked upon as taking advantage of services or things that could help benefit me, things I’m more than entitled to receive. And when I say entitled to, I mean things I’ve worked for, even if that work was a long time ago. I hate vague assumptions that are imposed on people who might, for whatever reason, need help. Not all people who need help are milking a system. Some truly need the assistance, not a hand out, but a hand up. But because of such a ugly stigma placed upon the dirty nasty four letter word “help” people who have pride, people who have self respect, people who let what other say about them if they found out hinder them reaching out when the need arises, will often choose not to seek help in the most dire of times.
It’s not healthy, it’s not beneficial, it’s in fact detrimental to their own well being, mental and physical health. No good can come of keeping all that stuff bottled up and not reaching out. Just as a sickness, either physical or emotional, if over looked for too long can turn into something more serious.
I don’t like to ask for help, it makes me feel weak, and I don’t want to see myself as weak. I always see myself as a strong, independent woman, who doesn’t rely on others to help her. If I can’t do it myself, it won’t get done until I can. If I can’t afford it now, I wait till I can. If I can’t go somewhere, or do something, or fix something, on my own, I will wait until I can.
Waiting isn’t always good. Sometimes waiting makes things worse, no matter how much you try to keep up with it, things fall through the cracks. Sometimes worrying about what others might think puts our own minds in a twisted funk, because that means being vulnerable at our most critical times.
Vulnerability, feels like weakness, but it’s within the depths of our vulnerability and weakness that we can muster the strength we need and ultimately realize we’ve had all along, because it takes a strong person to ask for help. Asking for help does not equal weakness or lack of trying. There comes a time when we realize we can’t do everything on our own, and that’s alright. It’s more than alright, it’s like finally feeling the sun on your face after a long harsh winter. You become alive again, you feel whole, you feel as if the weight of the world just might finally be lifting off your heavy burdened shoulders, shoulders that have carried a weight for far, far too long.
Isn’t it about time you kick pride in it’s ass, and let go of the things that truly hold you back.