I’m guilty of it. I admit it. I started a relationship with a fantastic guy, and got swept up in the moment. Ok the moment is just shy of a year, but I am definitely swept up in our relationship. Nothing wrong with that.
Except, I did lose sight of my tribe. My girls, my friends, both near and far.
Not on purpose mind you. Let me emphasize that. Not on purpose! I feel the need to clarify that, why? I don’t know, but I feel I need to.
When you are involved in a new relationship, you tend to spend the majority of your time with one another. Getting to know each other, learning about one another, and creating your relationship. This relationship is no exception. Except the fact that it is much different than any other I’ve been in. We see each other daily(past relationships this hasn’t been the case) he has two children that he sees quite often, (I’ve never dated someone with children before) and we are working on the best mesh for all of us, he lives only 15 minutes away from me (I’ve never dated anyone this close before, except when I was a teenager) So it’s all a little new. And what do you do when something is new? You do all you can to learn how it works for and with you. You invest time, lots of time. You should!
I’ve been investing my time in our relationship. We both are. We have also tried very hard to incorporate our relationship within our friendships. It doesn’t always work, but we try. And trying sometimes is all you can do. Some friendships are near, some are far, road-trip far, but they are all dear and close in heart. Phone calls and text messages should keep you in contact with each other, but even in today’s society of instant access at the tip of your fingers, there still can be some disconnect.
I have always felt that a long time can pass without contact, as long as the bond is as strong as you think it is. Therefore time and distance should not interfere with that friendship.
Sometimes, when I’m depressed I withdraw from friendships, I am independent and I don’t like to rely on others, and that is to my own self detriment sometimes. It’s not healthy, but I’m aware of it.
I’m also ok with not hearing from friends for weeks or even months on end. I think I’m introverted in that respect, I don’t find it insulting or as a disrespect to the friendship. I just see it as LIFE. We all have things that take up our time. Work, family, sicknesses, happy times, just life in general. Trying to find the time to squeeze it all in is sometimes hard. But with my friendships, I expect that they should feel the same way as I feel. If we don’t hear from each other every day, be ok with it. Be confident in the fact that you are always in my heart and on my mind, even if I don’t reach out every single day. Trying to navigate this thing we call life can be hard some times, especially when we are trying to find our way in the world.
Just be aware of the fact that You are my tribe. You will always be my tribe. My Sister from another Mister, my chosen family, My unbiological sister, my BFFEAADADYFIEver. We may not speak to each other every day, or even once a month as of late, but know in your heart it’s not on purpose. I’m not avoiding you. I’m just trying to find my way in this world and with everything that is going on in my life, brand spanking new relationship included 😉 , sometimes I lose sight of my tribe. But you’re always there with me, as I am for you.
Never forget me as I never will forget you!