I never really put much thought into May~ December romances, that is until it was pointed out to me that I’m involved in one.
Seriously speaking though, I don’t see it that way. Dave is a few years older than I, to be exact he’s 10 years older. Whatever 😉
I don’t see his or my age as a significant factor in our relationship. In fact, it’s a non issue. Except for his birthday, the day I walked into his store and I realized it was him all along. It was the only day and time that it made a difference, because I laughed out loud at the fact that the Happy 50th Birthday balloon was for him. How the hell could it be HIS 50th Birthday. It’s also our anniversary. So his birthday is significant, his age however means nothing.
As it should be.
I’ve heard numerous times that relationships with age gaps can’t last. That each person is involved for some specific gain. And happiness isn’t it.
Give me an effing break.
Ok I’ve made judgement on relationships based on a presumption of how people interact with each other. But only upon KNOWING each person in that relationship, as individuals and as a couple. Then and only then can you come to an opinion, but remember the saying about opinions 😉 And depending on how they act, you can see that someone is a gold digger, or a sugar daddy/mama, or any of the other names you can drum up. Sure everyone wants something from a relationship, and there are SOME people who are purely selfish.
That selfishness doesn’t only rear it’s ugly head in May~ December romances. I see plenty of selfish people who are “age appropriately” dating. You know within a 5 year age gap, perhaps. They have visible and sometimes not to visible signs of taking advantage of their significant other. Over the top expectations, demanding ways, etc.
Assumptions based on pure imagination makes one wonder why people are assuming in the first place. Where do you fit into that relationship? What gives you the right to make a judgement or assume what the foundation of that relationship is about?
Nowhere and nothing. Those are the answers to those questions.
The assumptions passed on our relationship, ironically made by only one person, so honestly not much validity there. In fact none whatsoever. Really take on a spiteful tone, one of selfishness it its own right. Sadly it needs to be discussed. Not to give that person a spotlight but to shine upon them the fact that making judgements on a person you don’t even know, let alone never met, says more about the person who’s making the comments than it does about who they’re talking about.
To say I don’t bring anything to the table but sex is pure hilarity. I mean look at me, I bring a hell of a lot, and then some. Maybe, just maybe that is a part of it. People who know me, already know that there is so much more to me than what meets the eye. They know who I really am. My mother raised a strong, independent woman, a woman who does not need to rely on others for the things she wants and needs. That does not mean being harsh and cruel, just being self reliant. My wise mother once said, “Always be able to sustain yourself in any situation, because at the end of the day you may be alone in the world, and surviving on your own is necessity.” Be a woman who seeks a partner not to complete her, but to add to what is already there. People should already be complete, be whole, you must be willing to put in 100% of yourself, no less.
Men should also take that advice. Together uplift one another, be there emotionally, physically and all the ways you can be for one another. A relationship, a real one, needs more than just sex to survive. Relationships, have multiple facets to them, doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that. It does however take some common sense, and sadly that isn’t so common after all.
So the next time you see a May~December relationship, or any relationship that is not your own. Don’t pass judgement, don’t make assumptions, don’t put your two cents in unless those two cents include the words… “Congratulations, I’m happy for you.”
It’s kind of funny as I’m typing this up this morning, I hear news that Ms. Patti Labelle is showing off her new romance. 30 year difference is making headlines. You go girl. If this is true (I haven’t seen confirmation from her camp as of yet so I don’t like to assume) I say, don’t let anyone dull your moment. If doing what you’re doing is making you happy, and it brings joy to your life, don’t let any misgivings or judgements ruin your life. Live and let live. Those people who are throwing shade, really need to live their own lives. I will say it again, it must be sad to live their lives.
This guy right here, he makes me happy, I make him happy, and mixed in throughout our days we sometimes get on each others nerves. I wouldn’t have it any other way. ❤