What’s the deal with Meghan Trainor’s “Dear Future Husband” song?!


Go Meghan Trainor!  Yay for positive body image reinforcement, and sending women back to the 1950’s ~ 1960’s where they belong!! Just in case you’re new here, or can’t tell from the way I’m writing this…that was sarcasm.

Apparently not only in her last smash hit song “All About That Bass” which you can find on your own, if you’ve been lucky enough not to see/hear it yet. Yeah it has a catchy hook to it, but that’s where it ends. For me.(Some of the original song lyrics, in All About That Bass, have been changed since there was an uproar about them) She’s at it again with her new song “Dear Future Husband”

Even though I had issues with her last song, and struggled with the idea of blogging about it, because she outright lifts up one group of women while bashing another. How the hell do you think that helps anyone? You only perpetuate the same crap you are trying to get rid of.

Now I’m far from small, skinny, or even the “proper” weight for my height, but bashing a woman who is, or may even be underweight, is just as damming as bashing a woman who has more weight to her frame.

Fat shaming and skinny shaming does not do one ounce of justice to any cause, except make you look like an Ass.

Yet here I was thinking “I should check out this song”  it sounds interesting, a catchy title. Thinking it was almost reminiscent of my recent post   “An Open Letter to my Future Boyfriend, Husband, Soulmate, Unicorn”

Oh HELLLLLL No!!! This is nothing like what I envisioned, hoped for, or even had an inkling she would aim for. What on earth did she just say?

These are the lyrics for the song:

Dear future husband
Here’s a few things you’ll need to know
if you wanna be my one and only all my life
Take me on a date
I deserve it, babe
And don’t forget the flowers every anniversary
‘Cause if you’ll treat me right
I’ll be the perfect wife
Buying groceries
Buy-buying what you need
You got that 9 to 5
But, baby, so do I
So don’t be thinking
I’ll be home and baking apple pies
I never learned to cook
But I can write a hook
Sing along with me
Sing-sing along with me
You gotta know how to treat me like a lady
Even when I’m acting crazy
Tell me everything’s alright
Dear future husband,
If you wanna get that special lovin’
Tell me I’m beautiful each and every night
After every fight
Just apologize
And maybe then I’ll let you try and rock my body right
Even if I was wrong
You know I’m never wrong
Why disagree?
Why, why disagree?
Dear future husband,
Make time for me
Don’t leave me lonely
And know we’ll never see your family more than mine
I’ll be sleeping on the left side of the bed
Open doors for me and you might get some . . . kisses
Don’t have a dirty mind
Just be a classy guy
Buy me a ring
Buy-buy me a ring
Future husband, better love me right

Now here’s my personal take on this.

First off is it meant to be satirical? Is she poking fun of the fact that this is so far-fetched and out there? Honestly I don’t even think this is throwing women back to the 1950’s because, she is turning men into these unthinking, groveling fools. Do all these things for me and maybe I’ll do some things for you… Or so she would hope they would be fighting for her.

Again, my first instinct was a What The Fuck kind of moment:

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I had to watch this video a few times. I’ve had to read the lyrics a few times. Each time I’m more dumbfounded by the audacity of it.

It’s like, stroke my ego and maybe I’ll stroke your…. I don’t know. Oh yeah and he can’t have a dirty mind either, with the innuendo, double entendre of that song lyric, you’d have to be living under a rock not to have your mind wander there.

There seems to be a one-sided relationship dynamic to what or who she wants to be her, Future Husband.

The irony, if you can call it that, is that she says she wont be baking, she can’t cook, yet she’s on her hands and knees scrubbing the floor.

All I keep thinking is that this HAS to be some form of a joke. Yes not everything we see, read, hear can be taken as true. There is always some kind of hidden agenda, I believe. But what on earth is it in this instance?

Because seriously… She sounds like she would be the Worst Wife Ever…Gimme gimme gimme, and make sure you’re top notch, and the best of the best, blah blah blah…and a quick Twitter search kind of agrees.

Some people may think I’m giving way to much thought or attention to this song. Perhaps I am. I agree that all art forms should be respected for which they are, and even when I don’t agree with something I still say the artist, which ever genre it is from, has a responsibility to their audience. You are putting something out there, with your name on it. It represents you. Just as this blog represents me. Each time I have an opinion, make a comment, say something off the cuff, it represents me. It shows you how I feel, live my life, form my opinions, etc. So I needed to do a little research as to see where she was trying to come from with this song. I found an article from an interview in Time Magazine, in October of 2014

Here is an excerpt in relation to this song, and another. This is her answer…

A couple songs on your EP, like “Dear Future Husband” and “Title,” seem to be rallying against hookup culture, which is rare in pop music. What inspired you?

Growing up with social media, it’s all, “Did he like my picture today? Did he text me back in the next hour? He must hate me then!” It’s much harder for us growing up. I know I didn’t like myself as much as I should have, and I hope people can hear my songs and know I’m a badass girl and I deserve a good guy to take me out on a date.

I can not for the life of me find the correlation between her reasoning and her song/video!

Can you? If so PLEASE tell me where it comes into play. I welcome feedback, either in agreement or against what I’m thinking. I’m open for discussion if you want.

I participate in online dating, I’m against the hookup culture (for whoever wants to participate in that, I say to each their own) it’s just not for me. But nothing I see or hear within this song gives the impression that she is against it. Although it’s not encouraging it either. Yes she’s asking for a future husband, not a one night stand, she wants him to be all and do all of these things to prove his worth of her.

Well hello, what are you bringing to the table?

A little FYI…Relationships are not 50/50 that’s pure bullshit! Relationships are 100/100 yeah you heard me right. You bring 100% of yourself to the table each and every day. Not that I’m an expert in relationships, honestly not even relationship experts are experts on relationships in my opinion. But this is just something you learn as you age, have relationships, that either work or don’t for whatever their reasons are. When one participant is not living up to the expectations of the other…usually preconceived, ill advised, totally out there kinds of expectations, that’s when relationships start to crumble.

You need to be in it together.

You can’t expect the world from your partner, and offer a crumb of a cookie. NO matter how good that gluten free cookie might be. Cookies (pun intended)  are great, everyone wants some, but at some point you do get full of cookies. Then what do you have? A tummy ache, a tooth ache? Going to the doctor or dentist is no fun. I’d rather cuddle up on the couch with my partner, and feel better that way. But I say, don’t expect to get that. Don’t go into any relationship with all your wants on the table, and yet not showing what more of yourself you can offer up!

If buying groceries, cleaning, and baking are your thing. Then by all means, do what you enjoy. If there are other things you’d like to bring to the table, again by all means do what you enjoy.

I just wish I knew what this song was really supposed to be enforcing, besides belittling men and making them grovel for the affection of a woman. Similar to her other song, where she bashes one group of women to lift the other up. By this tactic, again you do nothing for the cause, except make yourself look like an ass.

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15 thoughts on “What’s the deal with Meghan Trainor’s “Dear Future Husband” song?!

  1. I’ve read a few posts about this song, and I haven’t actually listened to it yet just because I’m not a fan of the other songs I’ve heard from her.

    I have no idea why she (or whoever the songwriter was) wrote this song! I can’t figure out if it’s a joke or not. If it’s a joke, what’s the joke? I don’t understand what message she’s trying to send.

    It seems to me like her style is bashing others through music. With “All About That Bass,” she bashed skinny girls. In “Dear Future Husband” she appears to be bashing the future husband and saying he has to do everything she says. It just seems immature to me.

    I don’t know if she’s simply releasing these songs because she knows they’ll probably get people to talk? Even if people don’t like the songs, if that was her plan, it worked.

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    • That’s the typical plan of pop stars, and it did work. In this case, I think it’s just the quality of pop songs today, particularly labeled pop songs that are deliberately dumbed -down…

      Solving the problem of having a big-ego guy is to let him know he’s gone too far, and let him go if he doesn’t change. It doesn’t help to promote the ego of the gal in all the wrong ways.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Unfortunately it came on the radio the other day and I wasn’t completely shocked, due to her other song, but it was one of those moments where I said out loud “did I really hear that?” She shocks me slightly, but I do wonder if it’s just to get everyone riled up about it, and an instance of “Any attention is better than no attention” So her name gets out there more often, and yes I’m adding to that a little bit.
      It just makes me wonder… because as a joke, it’s not very humorous, at least to me.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I know what you mean. I do wonder if part of it is for attention. She seems to believe in the idea of causing a stir to get her name out there. It’s okay to still write about it, because I think it’s an interesting topic to discuss.

        I don’t think it’s a funny joke either, if it is one. But I have a feeling maybe it’s not a joke. It seems like she was slamming guys for the sake of building herself up in the song.

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  2. “You can’t expect the world from your partner, and offer a crumb of a cookie. NO matter how good that gluten-free cookie might be. Cookies (pun intended) are great … but … going to the doctor or dentist is no fun. I’d rather cuddle up on the couch with my partner, and feel better that way.”

    Sounds like something I would’ve said last December.

    And the 100 / 100 is spot-on. Someone doing his/her thing and growing is living.

    “Too much thought or attention to this song,” but you got this out of your system. Part of what blogging’s about… lol.

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  3. I was listening to Meghan’s album yesterday and thinking about your post so came back here to comment. First, Generally I think there are other songs and artists far more nefarious in their promotion of negative stereotypes regarding size and gender roles. Because they are below the surface or not ironic.

    Second, people have become focussed on the “skinny bitches” line in All About That Base, but she follows it with “nah I’m just playing I know you think you’re fat”. I wouldn’t take any one line out of context of the whole song. The line “every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top”… How is this bad?

    I propose that “dear future husband” isn’t a joke, per se, but tongue-in-cheek or ironic. Trainor is inspired by 50s era songs both musically and lyrically. If you spend any time listening to songs from that era, written seriously, they are horrifying from a gender perspective. I propose in no way is her song meant to be taken as anything other than a fun poke at the genre and the ridiculousness of what some women actually believe (there are blogs to prove it!).

    Like

    • I completely agree, there are far many other artists that promote negative stereotypes and in far more degrading ways.
      I also realize taking one line does not represent an entire song, in either of her songs I mention. But her delivery of the follow up seems flippant. But this is how I’m interpreting it.
      The line “every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top” isn’t bad at all, and I think tries to rectify it in a way.
      The more I’ve listened to “Dear Future Husband” the more I seem to be questioning it’s core. Yes tongue in cheek/ironic does seem to fit the bill. Even as I was writing the post, my thoughts were traveling to what her point really was aimed to prove. To me what I took from it basically was making fun of that era, where the women would be seen specifically in those roles, yet also not be so demanding of their husband/suitor. I’m sure there are many things in the blogiverse that I have yet to stumble upon. I’m intrigued by other lifestyles and points of view, and I appreciate your fresh perspective on my post, and her song. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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