My personal issues with ABC’s The Bachelorette

I make no qualms about the fact that I don’t like ABC’s The Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise of reality television shows.  I did watch it until the season after Trista & Ryan found love (1st season of The Bachelorette), I even watched their wedding episode. I have many friends/family who watch the show, even my Dear ol Mom watches it, and often times I hear it in the other room as she’s watching and yelling at the tv.  But the last time I sat down to make a point to watch it was many moons ago(2003), and well I was much younger then, and honestly there was an air about the show for me.

The air that first drew me in would soon fade as I saw the “reality” propagating the show. The fighting and conniving over a man or woman who you were supposedly there to woo into finding love, a soul mate, a husband/wife…turned into just the most flucked up show, portraying the public humiliation and degradation of both men and women.

Yes both sexes, not just the women were made to feel “less than desirable” for whatever reasons there may be. Yes this is part of life. Not everyone will be everyone’s cup of tea. That’s what makes “finding the one” so hard. But to live it out for all the world to see is a train wreck. To me this was the biggest train wreck of all.

Let me preface by saying, I am a romantic, I believe in true love, romance, soul mates, pure true unadulterated love between two people, you can even say a happy ending… BUT I’m also slightly cynical, jaded, cautious, and tired of games.

Games such as those played out on this series. Granted in the “real world” we all are competing with the last person, current opponent, or possibly the next person waiting in line. competing on levels such as:

Attractiveness, intelligence, humor, wit , adventerousness, sexual compatibility, emotionally available/stability, financial means, chemistry, and I can go on.

This is all in the game of fighting for love if you will, and we go through various stages of this through daily life when we come in contact with a possible suitor.

So after the conclusion of the latest season of The Bachelor, I hear from the other room, my Mother gasp. “What?!?, What on earth are they doing. This is crazy!”

Obviously now I’m intrigued, granted she will often yell at the shows contestants but this, this was weird. I went into the other room, and saw the most genuine facial expression of sheer happiness and excitability (yes I am being sarcastic)

Learning, The Bachelor franchise has upped the ante. Yet again… and in the most degrading way possible.

In the upcoming season of The Bachelorette :


ABC’s hit romantic reality series, The Bachelorette, will kick off its 11th season continuing the surprises of this season’s Bachelor with the biggest one of all: There will be two Bachelorettes. There’s the charming, charismatic beauty, Britt, who captivated Chris Soules and the rest of Bachelor Nation with a memorable hug on that first night at the Bachelor mansion, and Kaitlyn, the gorgeous, fun-loving, warm-hearted, but irreverent firecracker who let down her guard only to have her heart crushed. Who will the men prefer? Eventually, only one woman will be left to hand out the final rose.

Instead of roses flying on that photo, it should be two pairs of boxing gloves. Two bachelorettes, Kaitlyn Bristowe and Britt Nilsson, get to duel it out.

I did say they are upping the ante, Yet again, and the franchise, in my eyes, is degrading to both men and women. Back in season 6 of The Bachelor, they had Byron Velvick and Jay Overbye play out a similar “fight to the finish” scenario. The women would ultimately choose who would be The Bachelor for the season. They would stand next to him, and The Bachelor with the most amount of women by his side, was deemed the Alpha Male by his suitors. The remaining Bachelor, and the women who chose him…were shown the door…the very first night!

 Bachelor host Chris Harrison with Bachelorettes Britt Nilsson and Kaitlyn Bristowe. Source: Getty Images

Bachelor host Chris Harrison with Bachelorettes Britt Nilsson and Kaitlyn Bristowe. Source: Getty Images

Now fast forward to this year. Apparently the premise for the show, in past seasons, has given all the power to either The Bachelor/Bachelorette, this season, as quoted by Chris Harrison “The 25 men on Night 1 are going to have the ultimate say about who they think would make the best wife.” So now, a female-powered show becomes a show where two women have to vie for male attention. Put up your dukes ladies!

Hello?! The point was for these women to find love, in the sea of love, get to choose from 25 or so men who could possibly be THE ONE. Now their power is taken away from them, and they are competing yet again against one other woman. (For reference sake, both of these women were eliminated from the latest season of The Bachelor) After just the first night of the new season, they will be rejected all over again.

I hate the premise of the show to begin with, for all it’s flaws and outrageousness, but this just takes the cake. Now the playing field is smaller, One on One, and the men decide all over again.

When they first created The Bachelorette, it was to help Trista Rehn-Sutter, who after being rejected, and a fan favorite on The Bachelor, find true love. Obviously this stunt, and yes I call it a stunt, is really just another way to help an already faltering part of the franchise possibly get better ratings.

I find it insulting, to men and women, I find it tasteless, it’s (to me) like a cattle herd. Let’s see which one is more durable, suitable, sustainable, and can mate well. Yes in my eyes, I feel like this is treating women, and men, as cattle. A piece of meat, if you will.

Yes we are all looking for The One…but there’s got to be a better way than making a public display of fighting over another human being, all in the name of  LOVE!


17 thoughts on “My personal issues with ABC’s The Bachelorette

  1. I feel the same way about this show. I’ve only watched it a few times, but it’s always bothered me because of the things you discussed here. I heard about the “two bachelorette” thing, and to me it sends a terrible message. It’s taking the power away from the women and saying that these men get to decide which is better, instead of the bachelorette choosing a man she loves. It’s just making it a competition between these two girls, which is not a good message to be sending.

    Liked by 1 person

    • The first time I watched it, I was intrigued, back then it was new and interesting to see what it was all about. But as the show plays out, and the drama ensues, it just becomes an utter disaster on so many levels. It boggles my mind how it’s (both versions) survived this long. This new twist is certainly sending a negative message, on top of already perpetrating negativity and control. It’s bad any which way you look at it.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I’m surprised that it’s lasted so long, too. I think I read somewhere that the producers are doing this new version of the show to try to get more viewers. I think their numbers have been decreasing the past couple of years. This doesn’t seem to be the best way to get people to watch. It’s such a damage message for the network to send to people, and women in particular.


      • I don’t think it’ll be a good thing for the show either. Unfortunately they probably do just believe that even though it’s negative attention, at least they’re getting attention. It’s sad that that’s what some shows have come to.

        Liked by 1 person

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