Let’s see what bites out in the sea of love.


I live in New York, in a town, somewhere on Long Island. The pin drop on this map indicates a town on LI with a 50 mile radius. The purpose of this is to show you exactly where in the Sea of Love, I can potentially find a mate using online dating sites.

Sadly, I live on an Island.

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50 Mile Radius Map

What surrounds an island?

Water!!! Yeah Plenty of Fish in the sea, but just because I can bait my own hook…doesn’t mean I’m looking to snag a Bass. I would prefer a Man!

Now sure, there are other land masses that envelop this 50 mile radius, not just the ocean, or the Long Island Sound. Why 50 miles? Two fold, most sites make you choose a radius of how far you’re willing to go for “love”, and usually it jumps from 50 to 100, with nothing in between.

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100 Mile Radius Map

I try to do 100 miles, so I can get matches within New York City and Queens, because they are sometimes just outside the 50 miles. But when you jump to 100, that gives you matches deep into Connecticut, Upstate NY, NJ, RI, Pa, and vast amounts of water.

Long Island is, well…long, and the dating sites pools are crowded. I’m all for some healthy competition. If you’re really interested you’re interested.  I personally don’t mind traveling for love. I’ve said before, my future boyfriend, husband, soul mate…unicorn, lives somewhere, and he doesn’t have to live on Long Island.

But it seems to be a never-ending match up between:

• Guys I already know.

• Guys who are friends of friends.

• Guys who only want one thing only.

• Guys who have dated friends. Although this doesn’t really bother me, because it doesn’t bother me if a guy I dated, dates a friend of mine. It’s happened before. Remember it’s a huge ocean but Long Island is crowded.

• Guys who, when they hear where I live, cringe.
~One reason is so closed-minded it boggles my mind, is that all  the white women in this town date African-American men. Personally I haven’t, but hey, if you hear Taye Diggs is free~ I’m single!!!  But WHO GIVES A FLYING FIG NEWTON WHO YOU CHOSE TO DATE?!?! I say good riddance to bad rubbish, You judgemental fool, I have no use for you!! Move along.

~Second reason for not liking where I live, is simply the town. Like almost any other town, it only makes the news when something bad happens. Guess what, no town is perfect. It’s the PERSON you are supposed to be getting to know, and dating. Not their town. You can change where you live, sadly some of you can’t change your ignorance!

• Guys who swipe right on everything they see, just to see. Although Tinder is more like…oh goodness, I have no comparison for this. After the newest update, you can do a rewind if you swiped left on someone you really wanted to swipe right on. BUT wait a minute, if you’re over 30 you have to pay $19.99 a Month for that option. If you’re younger it’s only $9.99. Age Discrimination Much! It’s ok I already pay for Match.com, and they have a lot of the same guys that are on the free sites, as well as your site.

• Guys who, even though I’ve set “preferences”, still seem to find their way into my “daily matches”, or just find me. This is both paid and unpaid sites. Yeah I subscribe to a few. :/
~I just noticed this the other day, after turning 40. All of a sudden I’m getting a few more messages from much older men. As well as the younger ones again. I would get this on occasion before my birthday, but it seems, like overnight, the amount is tenfold. The random one would come in once in a while on some of the sites where my preferences aren’t so strict, and I do say that if they’re a few years out side of my age range (30-45) I might reply back. 60 is way out there.

Now I know I mentioned in Seductively Sexy Seth that I was going to broaden my dating age parameters. I did, but 60, no. That’s like me dating a 20-year-old.

Although I hear that Men can date Women based on this calculation:

Mans age ÷ ½ + 7 years = the youngest they should date

60  ÷ ½ + 7 = 37

So I guess that 60 yr old man is doing his math. But I never liked math anyway 😛

Although what’s good for them should be good for me too! Let’s reverse the roles and what if I as the woman adopted the same calculation for my dating preferences.

Womans age ÷ ½ + 7 years = the youngest they should date

40  ÷ ½ + 7 = 27

Hmmm nah I’ll stick to 30 at a minimum, and some days I still question that. Although, I do believe age is just a number. I know plenty of men and women who don’t act their age. This can be a very good thing, or a bad thing, depending how you act!

This whole body of water thing, really does put a wrench in my prospects.

Maybe I should create an app just for Long Island Dating (It’s my idea, don’t try to copy it lol) Figure out the logistics of eliminating the bodies of water. Or at least eliminate the radius, but I doubt that’s even possible. Even just getting a guy to put his town/state down in a profile is tough.

I wont complain much, lately things are looking brighter. 🙂 Even though, I don’t really talk about the specifics of good dates, since I don’t like to jinx things, I really have been enjoying dating lately. I do keep getting asked, from both the guys I date/dated, and readers/friends to blog about the good dates. Yes some of the good guys want to be blogged about,  they know I blog and have read it, even have asked for certain alias if I ever do decide to blog about them.  Maybe, giving some attention to the good guys is better than just highlighting the bad, or not so good ones.

So my line is cast, hoping I have the right bait. Let’s see what bites out in the sea of love.

Those are my Random Musings and Wanderlust for today 🙂

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23 thoughts on “Let’s see what bites out in the sea of love.

      • Okay, so not obsessed. …But I’ll repeat what I said to Austin (although it doesn’t apply here the same way): “The more romanticized focus you put on people, the less you’ll get them.”

        Sometimes you have to set parameters, but other times you have to just let it go and work that things will work out on their own.  Either way, one has to move forward and not ignore what the heart is saying.

        And unlike Rex, I won’t ask for your number.
        …I might inexplicably give you mine… 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      • Haha not obsessed. I welcome the comments, and perspective. Not sure exactly where it fits here, but I understand the sentiment of your statement, and it does make a lot of sense. I am definitely more a let it go with the flow kind of person, when it comes to matters of the heart. Forcing something, anything, isn’t good in my eyes. It’s funny because this post was at first exactly what a muse was. I was someone’s inspiration, their muse, and then I wasn’t. As I was writing the post it took a more romanticized turn, which was very natural to me, a muse in its own nature is both romantic and inspiring. So it weaves together, dare I say, seamlessly… without intent.
        Inexplicably huh 🙂

        Like

      • It would probably be more useful to give my number to Austin, given he resides in the same state… And I’m kidding. You would have to ask…and prove that you’re not a robot. 😉

        Like

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