Thank You, to the Honest Men in the Dating World!!

I’ve been wanting to write this post for a few weeks now, but it seems to have taken a back seat on my list. Between the snow storms, life in general and well with Valentines Day, and all those crazy thoughts swirling in my mind. So tonight’s the night I write my other thank you…

738685ce9fdf7dfdcd18e4f7e9d93858On the relationship roller-coaster of love, I’ve always said I prefer upfront honesty. I’d rather know sooner rather than later, that you’re not feeling it, rather than prolonging the inevitable, dragging something out that you truly have no interest in beyond the moment.

That’s not saying, you need to know you’re gonna marry each other the first date. I feel a first date isn’t really a date anyway, it’s a meet up (if we’re talking online dating especially), something to get over the cold feet, make sure you’re the people in the pictures. I know I am, are you?? There are times you might wish you could run out of a first date cause you know there is absolutely nothing there, but then there are those first ones that leave you wondering, hmm maybe there is something here but we’re both a little nervous or whatever the case is. So you give it another shot and take it from there. That’s how I like to do things.

What I am saying is this. If you’re not feeling something, or feeling something isn’t clicking, say something. It’s much better to get it out in the open and spare both parties the uncomfortableness of the inevitable, rather than drag it out for months because you worry how it will be received. Here’s a hint, the longer you wait, it probably wont turn out so good, at least I can only assume it wont turn out well for you.

♥ I appreciate the honesty.
♥ I welcome it with open arms.
♥ I gladly accept it.
♥ I value it.
♥ I will have more respect for you.

There’s a saying…”I’d rather you hurt me with the truth, than comfort me with a lie” (something like that) Yes, I might be hurt, BUT I wont hate you. You didn’t do anything wrong, you were honest. It’s better that way. I wish more guys were that way. Wishful thinking on my part I guess.

Wait a second, let me take that last part back.

I have been very lucky that there are guys out there that have the decency to be honest and upfront, I like to call them Men.

Yeah Men.

They’re not perfect, no one is. I’m sure as hell not. But I give them credit for being honest. Why am I giving them credit for something we ALL should strive for? Simply because, there are many, many times in life when we wait to long to say the important things. The guys that get this credit are the ones who know how to be honest, at the right time. Don’t wait a year to say you’re not feeling it, the spark isn’t there, something isn’t clicking, whatever it may be. It takes you that long to be able to say it? Something is wrong with you!

I also think it’s easier to just walk away from something rather than face it, because to many people, ok I’ll say it… women, would rather not know the truth. Seriously, the truth will set you free, both of you. Not saying the truth has to be mean and nasty, just be open and honest. I think this kind of thinking enables guys to not be that open and honest. But again what do I know. It’s only from my experiences. Specifically when some guys, after they bare the truth, are so shocked to see my response. They’ve yet to meet a woman who accepts the truth, and are even worried about expressing it. It’s easier for them to do the “fade away” whatever the hell that is. Or just make up an excuse. Ok I took a few internet searches after penning this post, to see what the “fade away” is all about. Basically it’s what it sounds like, a fading away of interaction. You just gradually, or all at once stop calling, texting etc.  (This I will say, maybe isn’t such a bad idea with respect to those really horrible dates that you wish you could fast forward time, or have an earthquake hit so you can leave. Reserve the fade away for critical times. But doing a fade away after months of dates, yeah you suck if you do that.)

I’ve had the open, honest, sooner rather than later guys, and the wait till it’s almost too late guys in my life. I prefer the former by leaps and bounds.

Be that guy!!

Yeah some women can’t accept the truth, and they never will be able to, but don’t let them rule how you live. You’d be surprised at how many more would respect you for the honesty. I do understand there are women out there who do the same thing, they suck just as much if they are dragging things out. That whole, well if they do it so can I mentality, isn’t really helping the dating “struggle”.

So I say… Thank You to the Men out there that are truthful, honest, and upfront. The world is a better place with you, at least I think so. These of course are just my opinions on this roller coaster of love.

Those are my Random Musings and Wanderlust for today 🙂 Thanks for stopping by.

27 thoughts on “Thank You, to the Honest Men in the Dating World!!

  1. Right on! Honesty is the whole point. Unfortunately many guys are only interested in one thing and you know what that is. I have to read different posts on a blog before I am ready to commit to following and I expect dating is the same. But I agree, be honest and don’t play games. No one wants to waste precious time trying to know someone, that really doesn’t appreciate who you are.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hahaha.
    It’s funny that I just wrote a post about online dating last night.
    This is all true.
    I just started talking with a guy a few weeks ago, then we talked on the phone and I decided I did not want to go any further. He kept texting me.
    I haven’t written a lot about online dating on my blog so far, but there’s loads to say on the subject, and this one was great.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s like gambling, you take the risk, and don’t know what the outcome will be, hopefully in your favor. If not, then you hope you learn for the next round so to speak. I’m gonna have to check out your post in a few. I try not to make my blog all about dating, but it’s what I’m living now so I’ll sprinkle my blog with it now and then lol. I’m glad you enjoyed the post!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I wholeheartedly agree that honesty is way better (and much more respectful) than stringing someone along and not letting them know it’s over, but oddly I was always under the impression that women did the fade-away thing more than men 😀
    Looking back to my single days I always tried to be honest about it when I knew it wasn’t going to work. But on the other side of the coin there was only one woman out of 5 or 6 who actually had the guts to look me in the eye and tell me she wasn’t feeling it and didn’t want to date me anymore.
    I guess both sexes can be guilty of this but it sure sucks to be on the receiving end though.
    Good post.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I’m glad you liked the post, thank you. I agree, both sexes are guilty of the fade away, not easy on either one. You don’t know how it will be received, and sometimes you don’t know the “right way” to do it. It’s odd, because I’ve only recently heard it coined as the fade away. One of my girl friends mentioned it about a year ago, as an explanation to why she hadn’t heard from a guy after a short period of dating. I forgot all about it until a guy said it recently. From what I see online, women accuse men of this regularly, maybe they talk about it happening more, I’m not sure. I try to be as honest as possible, because I hope to get the same in return. Thanks again!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. The key destruction to a relationship other than lack of communication is the lack of honesty, which can come from both parties. Yet I do know the difficulty for woman in this generation to find an honest man. It’s become such a rarity that most women end up giving and start to believe that all men are the same. So thank you for this post, thank you for showing appreciation to the honest men out here in the world, because you also acknowledge the existence of the honest men and strike out the “all men are the same” theory. Will be looking through a few more of your posts as well, and will feature this one on my website.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m glad you enjoyed the post. Thank you for your comment, and the reblog to your site as well, it’s much appreciated. I agree with getting rid of that “all men are the same” theory. Good, true, and honest men do exist in the world, it seems rare to find them sadly, but I do believe they exist, and therefore should be noted. I think the fact that they seem rare, makes women throw them all under the bus. I’m still hopeful!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. In a complicated world, honesty can be rather hard.  Often enough, people aren’t honest with themselves.

    There does come that point, in knowing you only have so many years ahead of you that you just need them to be truthful, that the relationship won’t last, that there’s no attraction, no spiritual feeling, or not enough.


    • You’re absolutely right. I feel some people aren’t honest with themselves, then it spills out into the rest of their lives.
      I’m getting older and time is of the essence, maybe that’s why I value honesty even more now. Time is of the essence. Although when I say that, people automatically think I’m referring to having children, but it really just means, I want to enjoy the rest of my life with someone who also is looking for that real connection. It’s not fair to either person if it’s not for real.


  6. Nice read – promoting the right way to do things helps encourage people who might need that strength to go through with it rather than taking the easy way out and just hoping they’ll go away if you ignore them. Even though I say this I am guilty of having used it. It usually comes right after a good long complaining sension about all the guys who rejected them…

    Also, just letting you know I mentioned your blog in a post of mine.


    • Hmmm, now that I can see as a precursor for doing it. Not totally justified, but it does make sense. If all she does is complain about exes or being rejected, in my opinion I would see it as the woe is me mentality. That in turn, no matter what you do, you would probably make that list anyway.

      Thank you for the mention, I will have to take a look. I’m still trying to catch up. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Pingback: Why do Boys Only Want Love If It’s Torture… | Random Musings And Wanderlust

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