Tonight I’ve done what I haven’t done in what seems like forever.
I took myself out to dinner and a movie.
No big deal, but I haven’t been to the movies alone in over a year. It was something I always enjoyed doing, and it didn’t matter if I was single or in a relationship. If I wanted to go alone, I would. I started going alone to the movies, because most of my girlfriends don’t really enjoy the superhero type, action, adventure ones. Give me Spider-Man, Superman, Thor, Captain America…you get the point.
Those are the types of movies I like to watch, as well as comedy. Throw in a chick flick once in a while I guess, but not as a go to. I’m probably the only woman who hasn’t watched that Nicholas Sparks movie, you know the one where they die together in the same bed. Sorry if that’s a spoiler, I’m just gonna assume everyone else in the world has watched it, but me.
I stopped going alone.
I was in a relationship with someone who enjoyed the same movies. We would see a movie at least once a week. It was our thing. That relationship ended not to long ago, and well I just stopped going to the movies. Partly because nothing was of interest, except for The Hobbit, which I did recently see with my movie buddy, Max*. He’s been my buddy for movies like Godzilla, Iron Man, Star Trek and the like for a few years now. If we don’t feel like going alone we would go together.
I digress. This post will probably ramble on because well that’s just me and these are my Random Musings…and boy are they often random…
I’ve recently noticed previews for Wild, with Reese Witherspoon. Every time they pop on the tv, I’m greeted by a picture of a beautiful red fox. Over the last two years or so, the red fox has been a prominent animal in my life. At first I didn’t even realize it, but thinking back when I would do my walks on the beach, there was always a fox. More recently I started hiking/walking on the trails in the woods. Foxes are all over the place out there, and I’m the one to follow them instead of fear them.
Out of the clear blue sky, the guy I had been dating called me Foxy Red from the very beginning. Much better than, babe. At the time he started this, I never mentioned any red fox. I didn’t realize it’s significance. While we were dating, and the foxes were becoming more prominent he noticed I was often coming in contact with them, and how ironic it was he called me Foxy Red.
When our relationship ended I was seeing foxes on all sorts of things. A new journal (which of course I had to buy), two coffee mugs (bought those too), baby clothes, greeting cards, and they were even invading my dreams.
There were foxes all over.
But I haven’t been feeling so much like Foxy Red anymore.
I’m not looking to give a review of the movie, but for me it hit home. I can’t relate to her life situation but I can relate to her wanting to go on this hike of The Pacific Crest Trail, alone. It’s a trail of over 1,000 miles and she’s determined to find herself. The self she lost along the way of life.
That, now that I can relate to.
Little did I know the significance, to me anyway, that the red fox would have within this movie. It is seen throughout at key points along her hike. To me the fox appears to be her guide, or her inspiration to continue on her journey. As in my life, each time I’ve come across one on my walks, the little red fox inspires me. I look at its presence as a sign. Sometimes one would appear as I’m having one of those conversations with myself about what’s going on in my life at the moment. You ask for a sign to point you in the right direction, and there would appear the little red fox.
I’ve been daydreaming of taking a solo vacation for my upcoming 40th birthday. I originally thought of some warm tropical island, sipping a mixed drink, maybe a pool boy fanning me…ok I said I was daydreaming. My intentions were always for a soul-searching, finding myself kind of adventure. I need and want to do this… alone. I still haven’t narrowed down my location, it doesn’t have to be on my birthday, although the cold month of March begs for warm tropical islands. But it will happen, and it will happen the way it’s supposed to.
Wild left me wanting more. Wanting to know more about the characters life after she made it to The Bridge of The Gods, after her 1000 mile hike along The Pacific Crest Trail.
And wanting more for myself.
I won’t be doing an adventure like Cheryl Strayed’s…
I’ll be doing Foxy Red’s adventure.
I don’t know where. But I’ll know it when I get there.
Those are my Random Musings and Wanderlust for today 🙂
This post took me forever to write. I think often the topics that hit us the hardest, even though all the thoughts are in our heads, penning them to paper (or blog) can often feel like ripping open your soul. When it’s all said and done, it’s a good thing. A very good thing.
*Names have been changed.