As a single woman who has found herself in the depths of online dating at 39 years old, it’s pretty pathetic the amount of unsolicited nude pictures you get sent to you. That mingled with the random messages that are either commenting on your wants/desires or their critique on how you can improve yourself for them such as…
“Oh you’re 39 and you want kids, aren’t you to old for that? ” I’m not dead yet, and all parts are working fine tyvm. If it happens it happens, but don’t expect me to accept your kids and not maybe want my own.
“You have an amazing profile and seem like the perfect catch, you have the brains & personality the only thing is I’m not attracted to women who are overweight. When you’re ready to change for the man that is waiting for you let me know” The man who is waiting for me, won’t expect me to change for anyone but me.
and even the ones who barrage you with 10 messages, and when you don’t reply their final thought is…
“Oh well you’re to <old, fat, nasty or expletive>” Glad I went with my gut instincts.
The only one of those messages I’ve replied back to was the one where the guy thought I was perfect except for my weight. I must have floored him with my response because he never wrote back.
These are just a sample of the messages that are received on a daily basis from men that I’m not making first contact with. I’m not angry I’m actually surprised. Ok wait I take that back, not surprised because it happens far to often. A few years ago I might have been angry or upset but I’m grown, secure and confident in who I am. What it has taken to get to this place. I’m damn proud of it too. All the good and the bad.
I have come to realize that this age of sitting behind a computer to rant off what your feelings are, on whatever the subject is, gives certain types of people a free pass to just act like complete jackasses. There are no real life repercussions or consequences. They hit send and that’s the end. Sure you can fire back with some equally ridiculous reply but often what is the use. Just chalk it up to experience and move on. It just makes me wonder, is it really that much worse to be out at a bar and meet someone? Or what about the days of meetings someone in the bookstore, or a glance across the produce aisle, or even friends of friends.
I’m not racing to a finish line, I’m still enjoying the process for what it’s worth. It sure makes for interesting stories, and you need somewhat of a strong resolve to handle the crap that gets thrown your way. But I guess you take the good with the bad, and it hasn’t all been that bad. There have been some good things to come of my time online. I’m hopeful that it will get better. If not oh well it’s not the end of the world.
Those are my Random Musings and Wanderlust for today 🙂